Don't Get Into Anorexia

by FeFe
(Canada)

Ever since I can remember, I had been overweight. Going through dozens of diets and exercise plans, weight loss became a HUGE issue in my life.

My father especially had a huge issue with my 160 pound body. At 5'5 and 160 pounds, I was not at that bad a weight. I played LOTS of sports and was very social.

My one private problem that I suffered through however, consumed my life. I hated myself for being overweight.

I started my diet to lose weight in November of 2011, and as the days progressed, so did my diet. I ate less and less every day. And what started off as a 1500 calorie diet became a 150 calorie diet. I lost weight fast. Within one month, I lost 20 pounds and soon saw myself in a 140 pound body.

I was still the same person. I had the same interests, and ambitions, however I could no longer run or play any sports. I had no energy and lost interest in a lot of aspects in my life.

I stopped losing weight in December because it seemed I hit a weight loss 'plateau'. This is where your body becomes unable to lose any more weight due to adaption of your current lifestyle.

I made a plan to come off my diet for Christmas and get back on it after the new year. On January 10th, I got back into school and continued my diet. My calorie intake decreased greatly and I started using laxatives.

My mother soon found out about my issue and tried to help me. My mother is a doctor and is POSITIVE about all the risks surrounding anorexia, so she took this seriously.


Hopefully I will get my privacy back and continue with my plan of anorexia. This way I'll be able to lose more weight.

Sometimes I do think I have a problem though. I can't help but notice that my weight loss goals have changed drastically. The numbers keep getting smaller. I am currently weighing in at 130 pounds and hope to lose 30 more by the time I go on vacation in March.

Apart from the weight loss, I am seeing negative side affects. Dilated pupils, yellow skin, and dark eye circles are the noticeable ones.

Obviously anorexia is bad, but it has become a part of my life. I think of anorexia as a second half to me. She is the part of me that helps get me through hard times and she is my best friend. I have convinced myself that she's a real person, with feelings, and its like if she sees me eat, she'll be very disappointed.

You don't want to disappoint anorexia, that would not be right.

I really really hope to lose more weight, although it would put me at a dangerous, underweight body weight, I just seem to really want it.

If there was ANY advice I could give to people who wish to start anorexia or a diet at that, It would be DON'T YOU DARE START THAT DIET!!

I assure you there is a HUGE chance that it will turn into anorexia, and as we all know, anorexia is VERY dangerous.

Make the right decision, because once you're in, it's hard to get out.