Male Anorexic Currently Hospitalized

by John
(Canada )

I'm a male anorexic, currently hospitalized because my sister made me come. I am in the ICU.

Well anyway, my name is John, I'm 18 years old. I live by myself, which means nobody really pays attention. I haven't eaten for 22 days or so, not really sure. Right now I'm on an intravenous, if that counts.

Growing up, I was sexually abused by my father, and I purposely made myself extremely overweight so that he perhaps wouldn't touch me anymore. It did not work.

My dad constantly teased me about my weight, as did kids at school. So I lost weight naturally, by exercising and eating healthily. I was quite happy with my weight fir a while, but I recently saw my dad again.

He grabbed my stomach and said something like "going back to the old ways, huh?" and I think that set me in motion.

People don't understand, I have to make my dad happy, and if being skinny will do that, than skinny I will be.

I started taking cocaine to help, along with heroin, and a few other things. I am currently in grade 12, but I am failing because I'm missing so much school. I ditch because I hate people coming to me in the hallways begging me to eat. I can't stand it!!

Like I said, they don't understand. If my dad isn't happy, neither am I. I refuse to gain weight, I WILL make him happy one day.

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