OCD or Anorexia

by Kit
(USA)

I'm wondering if this is OCD or anorexia? I am 23 year old woman who is underweight and having food issues.

In the last 8 months I have lost over 30lbs. It all started with me wanting to be healthy. I wanted to make my husband proud of my food choices so I started cutting my portion size.

After a few months, a relative commented on how many carbohydrates I eat and my husband also commented on the amount of bread I have, so I started limiting carbohydrates to a slice of bread every few days.

I then stopped eating all foods besides steamed veggies, coffee, herbal tea, Dark Chocolate, and oatmeal. Mainly because I wanted to lose weight.

My calorie intake is always very low. What I consider a good day is if I eat around 500 calories. I consider days when I more than that to be "fat days".

One of the major triggers for me is looking at my husband's ex girlfriend's picture. She looked so skinny, and ever since I saw her I felt like he settled with me looks wise.

In our first few months after meeting, my husband made a comment that he likes well-toned girls, and I wasn't exactly well toned. Plus I have a few disabilities and most doctors say it's good that I am not overweight.

I then started obsessing over food and calories whenever something horrible happened. I have become more eager to lose weight. I sometimes feel that all that I am good at.

After a while, I started doing a routine. I plan my activities for the next day including my meals. I started paying more attention to things being out of place, washing dishes even if it just a spoon is in the sink; separating food, cutting it into pieces, chewing it about 30 times,

Now that I've lost weight, I find comfort in my appearance in a way - like seeing the bones in my hand, the lack of muscle in my legs, but I still feel the need to lose weight.

I get anxious whenever I see a woman that is petite or skinny, and I feel like a failure. Though I also feel proud when I weigh less than someone else or if I've lost weight.

I wrote an e-mail to another expert on a site and they thought I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder symptoms). I also think I have OCD. I just want to know if it is just OCD, or do I have an eating disorder?